A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well
nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'
It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'
Remember that I will always share my spoon with you.... :)
18.12.08
Mullah Nasreddine
History break: In Turkey, he is known as Nasreddin Hodja of Anatolia, a historical character from the days of Seljuk rule in what we in the West know as the Middle Ages. Nasreddin or Nasruddin is claimed as well by Afghans, Iranians, Uzbeks, and Arabs, as well as the Turkic Xinjiang area of western China. Since the Seljuk empire of 1000-1400 stretched from Turkey to the Punjab in India, as did the Achmaenid empire a thousand years earlier, carrying enlightening stories along with war, from east to west and back again, such a personage as Nasruddin can well be shared by all, whether as Nasreddin Hodja or Mulla Nasruddin.
Nasruddin can act foolish, oh yes, but it is a different kind of foolishness: a foolishness with a purpose. The fool slips by the mental defenses, and is poised to deliver the dagger blow of wisdom straight to the heart. Warlike phrases for the peace-loving Nasruddin, but his stories have such bite, such punch, they invite violent metaphor!
Source: http://www.nasruddin.org/
Jokes:
One day Mullah Nasruddin entered his favorite teahouse and said: "the moon is more useful than the sun". An old man asked "whut Mullah?" Nasruddin replied "we need the light more during the night than during the day."
--
"How old are you, Mullah?" someone asked, "Three years older than my brother." "How do you know that?" "Last year I heard my brother tell someone that I was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that i am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather."
--
The old Mulla Nasrudin was complaining to his landlady about the lack of heat in his room. "SOMETIMES IT GETS SO COLD AT NIGHT," he said, "THAT I WAKE UP AND HEAR MY TEETH CHATTERING ON THE NIGHT TABLE."
--
Mulla Nasrudin sat fishing in a bucket of water. A visitor, wishing to be friendly, asked, "How many have you caught?" "YOU ARE THE NINTH," said Nasrudin.
--
One night, Mulla Nasrudin's father noticed a light in his barn. He went to see what it was all about and he found Nasrudin with a lantern, all dressed up. "What are you doing all dressed up and with that lantern?" asked his father. "I am going to call on my girlfriend, Dad," said Nasrudin. "I have got to go through the woods and it is dark." "When I was your age calling on my wife for the first time," said the father, "I went through the woods without a lantern." "I KNOW," said Nasrudin, "BUT LOOK WHAT YOU GOT, DAD!"
--
Mulla Nasrudin, who was really unaccustomed to public speaking, arose in confusion after dinner and muttered hesitatingly: "M-m-my f-f-friends, when I came here tonight only God and myself knew what I was about to say to you AND NOW ONLY GOD KNOWS!"
--
The young father was pushing the crying baby down the street with what appeared to be absolute calm and self-assurance. People on the street could hear what he was saying as he passed. "Take it easy, Nasrudin," he said. "Don't let it get you down, Nasrudin, you will soon be safe back home. Things will be all right, Nasrudin, if you just keep calm." One motherly type woman waiting for a bus, heard and saw the young father and said to him, "I think you are wonderful the way you are taking care of the baby." Then she leaned over to the baby and said, "Now, don't cry, Nasrudin, everything is going to be all right." "LADY," said the father, "YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG. HIS NAME IS TOMMY -- I AM NASRUDIN."
--
The town's richest man had died. The next morning, another rich, and particularly miserly, old man said to Mulla Nasrudin, "I wonder how much he left." Mulla Nasrudin laughed and said, "EVERY CENT OF IT, SIR."
--
Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with his master who had taken up art. "When I look at one of your paintings, Sir," he said, "all I can do is stand and wonder." "Wonder how I do it?" asked the master. "No," said Nasrudin. "WHY YOU DO IT."
--
Mulla Nasrudin approached a genteel-appearing, elderly man with his tale of woe and a request for assistance. The old gentleman refused him, saying, "I am sorry, my friend, I have no money, but I can give you some good advice." The Mulla said in a disgusted tone, "No thanks, IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY, I DON'T GUESS YOUR ADVICE IS WORTH ANYTHING, SIR."
--
"What in the world happened at the picnic yesterday?" a fellow asked Mulla Nasrudin. "They are saying around the tavern that you acted like a coward." "Well, I am no fool," the Mulla said. "Some of the girls found a big hornet's nest in the top of a tree and dared me to climb up and get it. And I just didn't do it, that's all." "Whether you were smart or not," said the friend, "That sort of thing makes you unhonored and unsung around here." "THAT'S RIGHT," said Nasrudin, "BUT I AM ALSO UNHARMED AND UNSTUNG."
--
A young preacher was just getting acquainted with his duties. One of his first chores was to visit the hospital where Mulla Nasrudin, a member of his flock, was confined as a result of an automobile accident. The Mulla had been seriously injured: a broken leg, both arms broken, a broken collar bone, terrible cuts over his face and head, and several broken ribs. He was so thoroughly bandaged and taped and strapped up that only his two eyes and mouth were showing. The young preacher was at a loss for words, but realized that he must say something, so he asked the Mulla: "How do you feel today? I suppose all of those broken bones and cuts cause a great deal of pain. Do you suffer very much?" "NO, NOT MUCH," said Nasrudin, "ONLY WHEN I LAUGH."
--
Mulla Nasrudin was weeping and complaining in a bar. "I don't have anything to worry about," he said. "My wife takes care of my money. My mother-in-law tends to my business. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WORK."
--
"When I was broke," Mulla Nasrudin told his neighbor, "Harry volunteered to lend me $1000" "Did you take it?" his neighbour asked. "NO," said Nasrudin. "THAT KIND OF FRIENDSHIP IS TOO VALUABLE TO LOSE."
--
Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbor were greeting each other. "Good morning," said the Mulla. "You are looking fine this morning." "I am sorry I can't say the same thing for you," said the neighbour. "YOU COULD," said Nasrudin, "IF YOU WERE AS BIG A LIAR AS I AM."
--
Mulla Nasrudin was called in the election bribery case. "You say," asked the judge, "that you were given $10 to vote for the Democrats, and you got another $10 to vote for the republicans?" "Yes, Sir, Your Honour," said the Mulla. "And how did you vote?" asked the judge. "YOUR HONOUR," said Nasrudin, "I VOTED ACCORDING TO MY CONSCIENCE."
--
--
Sources:
http://www.afghan-web.com/culture/jokes.html
http://www.otoons.de/joke&game/mulla_nasrudin.htm
Nasruddin can act foolish, oh yes, but it is a different kind of foolishness: a foolishness with a purpose. The fool slips by the mental defenses, and is poised to deliver the dagger blow of wisdom straight to the heart. Warlike phrases for the peace-loving Nasruddin, but his stories have such bite, such punch, they invite violent metaphor!
Source: http://www.nasruddin.org/
Jokes:
One day Mullah Nasruddin entered his favorite teahouse and said: "the moon is more useful than the sun". An old man asked "whut Mullah?" Nasruddin replied "we need the light more during the night than during the day."
--
"How old are you, Mullah?" someone asked, "Three years older than my brother." "How do you know that?" "Last year I heard my brother tell someone that I was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that i am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather."
--
Mulla Nasrudin, celebrating his 95th birthday was asked by a friend: "Don't you hate growing old, Mulla?" "HECK, NO,"said Nasrudin. "IF I WASN'T GROWING OLD, I'D BE DEAD."
--
Mulla Nasrudin's wife woke him up one morning and said, "Honey, wake up. Today is our 42nd wedding anniversary. I think we ought to celebrate. What do you say we kill a chicken?" The Mulla looked at her and said, "WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU WANT TO PUNISH A POOR CHICKEN FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED 42 YEARS AGO?"--
The old Mulla Nasrudin was complaining to his landlady about the lack of heat in his room. "SOMETIMES IT GETS SO COLD AT NIGHT," he said, "THAT I WAKE UP AND HEAR MY TEETH CHATTERING ON THE NIGHT TABLE."
--
Mulla Nasrudin sat fishing in a bucket of water. A visitor, wishing to be friendly, asked, "How many have you caught?" "YOU ARE THE NINTH," said Nasrudin.
--
One night, Mulla Nasrudin's father noticed a light in his barn. He went to see what it was all about and he found Nasrudin with a lantern, all dressed up. "What are you doing all dressed up and with that lantern?" asked his father. "I am going to call on my girlfriend, Dad," said Nasrudin. "I have got to go through the woods and it is dark." "When I was your age calling on my wife for the first time," said the father, "I went through the woods without a lantern." "I KNOW," said Nasrudin, "BUT LOOK WHAT YOU GOT, DAD!"
--
Mulla Nasrudin, who was really unaccustomed to public speaking, arose in confusion after dinner and muttered hesitatingly: "M-m-my f-f-friends, when I came here tonight only God and myself knew what I was about to say to you AND NOW ONLY GOD KNOWS!"
--
The young father was pushing the crying baby down the street with what appeared to be absolute calm and self-assurance. People on the street could hear what he was saying as he passed. "Take it easy, Nasrudin," he said. "Don't let it get you down, Nasrudin, you will soon be safe back home. Things will be all right, Nasrudin, if you just keep calm." One motherly type woman waiting for a bus, heard and saw the young father and said to him, "I think you are wonderful the way you are taking care of the baby." Then she leaned over to the baby and said, "Now, don't cry, Nasrudin, everything is going to be all right." "LADY," said the father, "YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG. HIS NAME IS TOMMY -- I AM NASRUDIN."
--
The town's richest man had died. The next morning, another rich, and particularly miserly, old man said to Mulla Nasrudin, "I wonder how much he left." Mulla Nasrudin laughed and said, "EVERY CENT OF IT, SIR."
--
Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with his master who had taken up art. "When I look at one of your paintings, Sir," he said, "all I can do is stand and wonder." "Wonder how I do it?" asked the master. "No," said Nasrudin. "WHY YOU DO IT."
--
Mulla Nasrudin approached a genteel-appearing, elderly man with his tale of woe and a request for assistance. The old gentleman refused him, saying, "I am sorry, my friend, I have no money, but I can give you some good advice." The Mulla said in a disgusted tone, "No thanks, IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY, I DON'T GUESS YOUR ADVICE IS WORTH ANYTHING, SIR."
--
"What in the world happened at the picnic yesterday?" a fellow asked Mulla Nasrudin. "They are saying around the tavern that you acted like a coward." "Well, I am no fool," the Mulla said. "Some of the girls found a big hornet's nest in the top of a tree and dared me to climb up and get it. And I just didn't do it, that's all." "Whether you were smart or not," said the friend, "That sort of thing makes you unhonored and unsung around here." "THAT'S RIGHT," said Nasrudin, "BUT I AM ALSO UNHARMED AND UNSTUNG."
--
A young preacher was just getting acquainted with his duties. One of his first chores was to visit the hospital where Mulla Nasrudin, a member of his flock, was confined as a result of an automobile accident. The Mulla had been seriously injured: a broken leg, both arms broken, a broken collar bone, terrible cuts over his face and head, and several broken ribs. He was so thoroughly bandaged and taped and strapped up that only his two eyes and mouth were showing. The young preacher was at a loss for words, but realized that he must say something, so he asked the Mulla: "How do you feel today? I suppose all of those broken bones and cuts cause a great deal of pain. Do you suffer very much?" "NO, NOT MUCH," said Nasrudin, "ONLY WHEN I LAUGH."
--
Mulla Nasrudin was weeping and complaining in a bar. "I don't have anything to worry about," he said. "My wife takes care of my money. My mother-in-law tends to my business. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WORK."
--
"When I was broke," Mulla Nasrudin told his neighbor, "Harry volunteered to lend me $1000" "Did you take it?" his neighbour asked. "NO," said Nasrudin. "THAT KIND OF FRIENDSHIP IS TOO VALUABLE TO LOSE."
--
Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbor were greeting each other. "Good morning," said the Mulla. "You are looking fine this morning." "I am sorry I can't say the same thing for you," said the neighbour. "YOU COULD," said Nasrudin, "IF YOU WERE AS BIG A LIAR AS I AM."
--
Mulla Nasrudin was called in the election bribery case. "You say," asked the judge, "that you were given $10 to vote for the Democrats, and you got another $10 to vote for the republicans?" "Yes, Sir, Your Honour," said the Mulla. "And how did you vote?" asked the judge. "YOUR HONOUR," said Nasrudin, "I VOTED ACCORDING TO MY CONSCIENCE."
--
Nasruddin delivers a khutbah (sermon)
Once, the people of The City invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.
Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!--
Nasruddin and the violin
Once, Mullah Nasruddin bought a violin. And he began to play.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
Same note, same string, over and over.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
After a few hours his wife was at her wits' end. "Nasruddin!" she screamed.
NEEE..
Nasruddin put down the bow. "Yes dear?"
"Why do you play the same note? It's driving me crazy! All the real violin players move their fingers up and down, play on different strings! Why don't you play like they do?"
"Well dear, I know why they go up and down and try all different strings."
"Why is that?"
"They're looking for *this* note." And he picked up his bow and resumed his playing.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....Sources:
http://www.afghan-web.com/culture/jokes.html
http://www.otoons.de/joke&game/mulla_nasrudin.htm
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